Grief - The Shadows

Almost a year ago I wrote a Blog Post about being silenced by grief.  One of the profound things about grief is that it morphs into different creatures.  Sometimes daily; sometimes weekly; or something it just pops up out of no where.

Most recently, it has struck me that grief brings shadows.

Losing someone that you love leaves an emptiness but as time passes by that emptiness moves aside and what is left behind are dark shadows, often lurking just on the edges of life.  Think about a photo with shaded  edges - where everything is darker and just a little blurry.  The photo may show a happy family, enjoying life but those blurred edges represent lose and hurt.

As year one passes by and year two begins, I find that a person goes from the overwhelming since of what was lost to the sense of what is missing or, maybe it is really of what is being missed.  Baseball games - especially the very fist hit of the season; birthdays, the rebuilding of an Amp (My husband was working on his recently, using tools my dad gave him and made the comment of, "I really missed your dad today because he would have loved being part of this process). See, those things are the blurred edges of the photo - instead of full joy, there is sadness mixed with joy.

Even as there are glimpses of sunlight through the trees; as happy memories are made; life events happen; really, "Life" moves on . .. there is still that corner of darkness that no one really understands unless you have lost someone who brought life and light to daily lives. I personally find myself more profoundly impacted now when someone dies because I know the feeling of grief and I also know what they face in the days ahead.  Just a week or so ago, Dr. Bradley, our vet, passed away unexpectedly.  My heart hurt for his family - the son who ran his office and worked with him daily; his wife of 50 years; his daughter and grandchildren.  Dr. Bradley was an amazing vet and I am saddened by the loss but I am more saddened for his family and their loss.  I know that hurt and it's not fun.

In the midst of all of those shadows, though, is light.  God gives us light; He gives us strength.  Yes, I still struggle with Sundays and holidays and missing my dads laugh and wisdom.  Yet, I love hearing my kids talk about Papa and all of his wisdom he shared with them in their short years; or seeing them recently use the tools he gave them as a gift on that last Christmas.  I love hearing others tell stories or share quotes or wisdom he shared with them.

Truth be told, Grief is hard.

Weekly Menu - The week with the first camping trip

We are facing too things this week - record temperatures and our first camping trip.  The good thing is I think the temps will drop before we leave!! Either way, cooking will be different this week than normal (What is normal anyway?)

Friday - Pizza - the boys have a choir concert so we are grabbing pizza before heading out.

Saturday - A family gathering at my moms

Sunday - More family fun at my moms

Monday - The boys are heading to VBS and have to be there by 5:45 so I'll feed them early; Darryl and I usually take advantage of this time and go to Applebees :-)

Tuesday - The boys again are at VBS (Last night!) so I plan on having Darryl bring home our favorite Tacos.

Wednesday - It's baseball!  Since we (Well, Darryl and I) have eaten out alot already, I'm going to put together quesadillas for a quick dinner before the game.

Thursday - Time for camping!  I plan on preppring Slow Cooker Shredded Beef for Sandwiches and Bacon Mac and Cheese (Something new).  I can throw both things in the crocks (yes, I'm taking two crock pots!) as soon as we pull into our campsite and they will cook while we set up.

Weekly Menu

For some odd reason I feel like I ran to the store way too much this past week.  Just little things that were needed.  Even yesterday, I ran to our local market to just grab bread thinking that is all that was needed to get us through the weekend until I got home and, apparently, a troll in the fridge drank almost the whole gallon of milk HA!  Good thing we have a dairy store in town with a drive -in so I can get milk without going into the store! Anway, this is the week were I try to use up the food I bought the last three weeks that we didn't end up using for various reasons.

Friday:  Hamburger Strogenoff, noodles and yeast rolls.

Saturday:  The boys are with my mom today while Darryl and I head out on a date day.  One of the many reasons we like having my mom near by for a few months - Darryl and I can get out for a date!

Sunday: Spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread

Monday: Roasted whole chicken, crash potatoes, and veggies

Tuesday: Breakfast - pancakes, sausage, and fruit

Wednesday:  Baseball - we just grab and go (and sometimes get a hot dog at the game!)

Thursday:  I have zero inspiration thinking about next Thursday.  Leftovers? Pizza?  Taco Bell? Who knows!

Weekly Menu - The unofficial start of summer

It's here - Memorial Day weekend!  The unofficial start of summer.  Some  years, we've spent it cooling off at the beach; some years, we've spent it watching movies on a rainy day; there've been years with family and friends; and years of doing nothing!  This year is the year of painting.  We are going to paint our living room. . . .finally! So, here's the food plan

Friday: Tacos - I didn't make them earlier this week so we'll end the week with Tacos after Fit club

Saturday - We are going to paint; my mom is coming over and volunteered (for real) to work in my flower beds.  She's also bringing dinner - Sloppy Joes :-)

Sunday - Again, painting!  My mom is "cooking" for us again - I think we are doing KFC

Monday - Memorial Day!  We are taking the day off!!!  BBQ Port Chops on the grill, Potatoes/Sweet Potatoes in the crock pot, Mac and Cheese and Applesauce.  We'll have Cupcakes and Maybe some Strawberry shortcake too :-)

Tuesday - This is my "clean out the fridge/freezer week!  I have a whole chicken in the freezer so I'm going to cook that in the crock, make pasta, potatoes or beans and a veggie.

Wednesday - Assuming Darryl has practice, the boys and I will have dinner with my mom at her camper - who knows, we might even get our first swim of the season in depending on the weather.  Plus I haven't been able to spend much time over there yet due to rainy, cool weather and I enjoy the place :-)

Thursday - The boys have a baseball game so it will probably be corn dogs and Fries before the game.

Weekly Menu

My mom moved into her camper this past week and we had some close to 90 days so our menu kinda took a hit.  With that in mind there are some carry over meals from last week.

Friday: Steaks on the grill, crash potatoes, Rolls and veggie

Saturday: Either a campfire with Brats and Hot Dogs OR Ham and Cheese Pockets - all depends on the weather and weather we can do a campfire!

Sunday:  Chicken and Noodles, Rolls and Salad

Monday: The boys have a game so dinner has to be fast and easy.  I think we will have tacos

Tuesday: Pizza Sliders and Salad

Wednesday:  Darryl usually has practice so we will eat out

Thursday: Spaghetti and Meatballs, Green Beans, and Garlic Bread

Now, I know that sometimes we will eat at my mom's camper and sometimes at home but for me it is easier to just plan meals.  Some of these meals can easily  transported or moved to another week.  :-)

Weekly Menu

The official start of Summer is just a short time away.  The weather keeps playing tricks on us - this past Saturday we sat at the baseball field freezing but by Wednesday evening, it was hot hot and humid sitting at the game!

Here's the plan for the coming week.

Friday - The boys have Fit Club and I'm heading to a crop so a roast is going in the crock pot and there are Bob Evans mashed potatoes to go along with it - something easy for Darryl to do (He will also have an optoin to grab something instead since I need the leftover roast for Saturday anyway!)

Saturday - Easy French Dip sandwiches and Daddy Fries

Sunday - Mother's Day!  I acutally considered just getting KFC for dinner so there was no clean up on my part HA!  BUT the boys want me to make sure I get to have my favorites so instead Darryl's cooking steaks on the grill, I'm going to throw potatoes in the crock pot and we will have salad and rolls too.

Monday - The boys have a game so we keep things easy - Mac and Cheese and Corn dogs.

Tuesday - Ham and Cheese Pockets, crash potatoes, and salad

Wednesday - Chicken and Noodles, and Salad or veggie

Thursday - Easy Cheesy Chicken Enciladas, Rice, Beans, and Chips and Cheese.

Weekly Menu

It's been busy over here.  Normally, we are early dinner eaters - sometimes between 5:00 and 5:30 but due to all of the stuff going on I don't think we ate dinner before about 6:45 on any given night!  Geesh! This coming week isn't much better!

Friday - Tonight the boys have Fitcamp so we will eat dinner afterwards.  A Roasted chicken, Rice (cheater . .. Uncle Ben's 90 second bags of rice . .. not very good! HA!) and green beans.

Saturday - Can you say baseball?  Today is opening day!  We will have Tacos for dinner after a super busy and long day.

Sunday - I have a concert today so it makes for another busy day.  We will have pizza after church (homemade) and I'm really not sure what we will do have the concert yet.

Monday - Ham and Cheese Quiche, Fruit and Asparagus

Tuesday - Pork Chops, Mac and Cheese, some frozen veggies and rolls

Wednesday - We will eat out before another baseball game.

Thursday - It's grocery shopping day and I haven't planned anything as of yet!