Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Discontent and how to recover

Periodically, I hit a phase where I experience extreme discontent-edness.  (Is that a word??) I think that it is a pretty normal feeling that many people get. . .especially stay-at-home moms with kids all 4 and under.  I mean, we are just now into talking in complete sentences but still have the daily melt downs and hissy fits.  (And yes, I'm talking about the kids, not me!)  When this feeling starts, I usually have a couple of days where I have a pity party before I suck it up and ask myself why.   Why am I feeling like this; what caused it; how do I fix it.  I thought I would share a few of my strategies and my current solutions.  It might help someone else , who knows!

Strategy number one - I make a list of the things that are making me feel discontent.  Yes, I'm a list maker so this helps soothe my soul. This is the list I came up with recently.
1. Homeschool - not doing it but being prepared for everything I want to do each day
2. A small house - feeling overwhelmed with spaces that need to work in multiple ways, trying to figure out how to organize and tired of broken things or things that don't work for us
3. Finances - feeling slightly out of control at times
4. The heat - when the forecast is in the 90's or even humid days (you would be amazed how that impacts my outlook on life)
5. Projects, crafts, planning and paperwork - how to fit it all in and not ignore the kids
6. The kids - not spending enough quality time with them; dealing with a strong willed kid; discipline, chore charts, and daily life.

Strategy Number two - I "stew".  Once I have my list I take a few days to stew on the list and let my mind start to sort through what I need to do to overcome in each area.

Strategy Number three - I make lists, plan, and organize new ideas.  Here are a few of the ideas I have and am trying to implement.
1. I am setting aside one afternoon during the week to work on homeschool planning and prepping for the following week.  Most likely this will be on Wednesday afternoons since our school week will end on Thursday (due to Friday school starting soon).  I'm also planning on taking one hour on Saturday (or less) to double check all prep work.

2. I have a new rule - no spending until Friday ;-)  Or something to that effect.  Sometimes it feels like money slips through our fingers because of store runs, gas, or grabbing a quick meal on a hot night.  I have to get back to once a week money - putting all income away until that day; paying bills, and using envelopes to ensure we have grocery and gas money set aside. 

3. Projects/Crafts - I would like to dedicate Friday afternoons to working on my projects.  We go to Friday school in the mornings so I'm pretty much "done" by the time we get home and really need to focus on something other than normal daily life.

4. The Small House Syndrome - this is a huge process.  I'm starting with doing what I did a few years ago - Simplify.  To do this I'm deep cleaning each room, updating the decor as much as I can and attempting to fix things that bother me.  Obviously, some things take money so I'm trying to save our pennies to replace/purchase some things we need. 

5.  The kids - Every day I try to take time to do one thing in the afternoon with the kids - an art project, something to cook, a game or a walk.  I'm also trying to say yes more when I get asked to play.  It makes them happy and it makes me feel like I accomplished something

6.  The Heat - guess what, it's gone :-)  I started this post back in July when the heat was awful but now we are in some much nicer days of fall. 

I'd like to say that I am successful at this all the time but I'm not - as with many things in life it is a daily process - some days are good and go as planned and some days I'm glad of the truth that everything is new in the morning and I can start over each day!