Media Monday - Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of Media Monday sponsored by Women Living Well. To read about week 1, just click HERE.

This weeks topic is - 5 Ways Media Could be Affecting your marriage.  To read Courtney's full post just click the link above to Women Living Well and it should take you directly to her post.  What I'm going to do is take her 5 topics and reflect on those areas in my marriage.

1) Time - Without a doubt, media items can eat away your time and that was last weeks topic.  It was interesting because this past week/weekend I spent less time on my computer, facebook, blogs, etc than I have in quite awhile and, guess what?  I didn't die ;-)  To read more on this topic click the "here" above to read last weeks post.

2) Beware of Inappropriate Relationships on-line - yes, there are people that struggle with this area but this is also nothing new.  There are several people that I attended church with over 10 years ago who met someone through an on-line resource and ended up leaving their familes for a "better life".  Personally, the ultimate safety tool is to make sure your spouse has full access to every media outlet you use - my husband knows all of my passwords and goes onto my facebook site and/or blog often.  I actually set up his facebook account for him so I know all of his stuff and usually read his messages for him since he seldom goes on it anyway :-)  Courtney's take is to have no male friends on facebook - I haven't felt the need to do so.  I have so many college friends that it has been great to reconnect with - I love it!  With that said - most of the time, I'm also friends with their wife or, many people have one account for both people:-)  The other thing, be cautious with what you post - don't post anything you don't want someone to read, talk about when they see you, or that someone can read into (which is the hardest part!)  I post about the weather a lot :-)

3) Disrespectful Talk about Husband's on-line - Here's my point of view.  I don't do it :-)  I don't need to do it because my husband is wonderful.  Seriously.  Why would you even want to do that to your husband - how would you feel if he did that to you?  So, when you are upset with your spouse, talk to only the two individuals that can resolve it - your spouse, and God - pray about it alot!

4) The introduction of P*orn compared to 10 years ago - Like Courtney, this is not a topic I have had to deal with - she gives a link if you are looking for some help.  Again, make sure that you and your spouse have no secrets online - keep the computer(s) in an open area.

5) Looking at others live and growing discontent - This is so true of facebook and blogs . Isn't it amazing how perfect every one's lives look like when you read posts and status updates? It is so easy to grow discontent when you see someone else's vacation photos, photos of new clothes, furniture, cars or even their house.  Those feelings can cause discontent feelings with your spouse - maybe you feel that someone else has it better than you do.  Those feelings can really cause a rift in your marriage relationship!  I personally know people who have discontinued the use of Facebook due to these very reasons or because they have been hurt by what people have said online.  I will admit that sometimes I'm amazed at what people post and how they use a status as a way to get back at someone or to make a point.  I have not had any problem with this but I know people who have and being bullied is never fun, no matter how old you are :-)  If you find you are discontent, take time to talk to your spouse about it, ask them to help you.  Maybe you just need a day away or a  date night.  The biggest thing that I have learned is that the grass is not greener :-)  As I look at a friends pictures of a new house, I have to remind myself of past conversations of unhappiness that they struggle with or as I see or hear discussion about the latest trip or shopping experience, I also remember the complaints about a spouse who doesn't really care.  It isn't an easy lesson to learn but I work on not comparing my spouse, my children, myself or my "life" to what others have - because mine is so much better :-)

I have to admit - reading the above post it doesn't talk a lot about marriage specifically but if you keep those five areas in focus and keep them in the right priority - your marriage won't suffer; it will get stronger. 

Thanks for reading :-)

Children are a Gift . . .always.

Wow, what a busy weekend - I feel like I ran from Friday through today non-stop.  Truth be told, from about noon on Friday until Sunday afternoon, I never logged onto my computer, that shows you how busy we were!  I was catching up on some blog reading this afternoon and came across this post over at Just to Keep in Touch - she posted it after reading it on a blog she follows . . .who had posted it from a blog that they follow!  I really appreciated this article and can relate well but, was also thankful for the insight that the author gave as well.  So . .  enjoy :-) 

(begin copied post!)
"******I got this blog post off of the Desiring God blog. It is so good and just wanted to have it on my blog for myself. What an incredible reminder that children are a gift and that, again...it is not about me!!!*****"says Ashley @ The Fisher Family

"A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”
She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?
The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross
But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How
The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?

Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things
When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone."

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Stuffed Shells - Two Ways

Have you ever noticed that anything with a red sauce doesn't photograph well? :-)  We love stuffed shells and we have two different ways that we enjoy them.  One is with meat and one is with cheese!  One of the great things about both of these recipes is that they can be made ahead and frozen.  Plus, it is a perfect guest dinner - make a pan of each type and guests can pick what they like or make them up and take them to someone else for dinner. 

First up is the Stuffed Cheese Shells:

Pasta

Stuffed Shells with Cheese

2 dozen large pasta shells

2 teaspoons salt

24 ounces part skim ricotta cheese

¼ cup fine dry bread crumbs, Italian seasoned

½ cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided

2 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley or 2 teaspoons dried parsley flakes

1 egg, slightly beaten

Pasta Sauce, jarred or homemade

Cook shells in boiling salted water, following package directions.  Drain in a colander and rinse with cool water.  Set aside.  In a medium bowl, combine ricotta cheese, bread crumbs, ¼ cup Parmesan cheese, ¼ teaspoon salt, parsley and egg; mix until well blended.

Cover bottom of 9x13 baking dish with a thin layer of sauce.  Carefully spoon cheese mixture into shells; arrange shells, opening side down, in tomato sauce in pan.  Pour the rest of the sauce over the shells.  Cover tightly with foil and bake at 374 degrees for 30 minutes.  Sprinkle with Mozzarella cheese and remaining ¼ cup Parmesan cheese.  Return stuffed shells to oven and bake, uncovered, 10 to 15 minutes longer.

** This recipe can be cut in half and placed in a 8x8 pan.  

Secondly are the Stuffed Meat Shells: 

Stuffed Pasta Shells

Pasta:

12 to 16 Jumbo pasta shells

Filling:

1 Tablespoon butter                                1 ½ cups spaghetti sauce

1/3 cup chopped onion

½ teaspoon finely chopped garlic

½ pound ground beef

½ pound ground mild Italian Sausage

1/8 teaspoon dried basil leaves

1/8 teaspoon dried oregano leaves

8 ounces Mozzarella cheese, shredded

     Cook shells according to the package directions.  Rinse with hot water; set aside

     Meanwhile, in 10-inch skillet melt butter; add onion and garlic.  Cook over medium heat until tender (3-4 minutes).  Add beef and sausage.  Continue cooking until meat is browned; drain.  Add basil, oregano and 1 cup cheese.  Spread ¾ cup spaghetti sauce on bottom of 13x9-inch baking dish.  Stuff cooked shells with meat mixture; place meat side down in prepared pan.  Pour remaining spaghetti sauce over shells.  Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Cover pasta with aluminum foil.  Bake for 20-25 minutes or until heated through.  Remove aluminum foil.  Sprinkle remaining 1 cup cheese over past and sauce.  Continue baking, uncovered, until cheese is melted (4-6 minutes)

** This can also be cut in 1/2 and placed in an 8x8 pan 

To Tell the Truth . . . .

You may remember This Post - the one about church envy.  I thought I would share some recent experiences we've had visiting some churches.  See, after I posted that, I did more digging and we decided to visit a couple of local churches.  I mentioned the long drive we have currently and we happened to come across two churches that are much closer that we figured we would check out.  Summer is a great time for this, for us at least, because we are busy so many weekends that we end up with only 2-3 Sundays where we are available.  My husband plays in a Christian group and they have concerts 1-2 Sundays a month plus we've been other places than home! 

So, most recently (I will leave out all names!) we visited a church that was 16 minutes away.  I kinda pushed for this one because I checked out the website and was so excited with how wonderful the church sounded.  They said they had a mix of worship and traditional music, lots of activities, etc.  I mean, they made it sound perfect.  So, here's rule number one, Church, don't make your church something it isn't by playing it up on the website (to tell the truth . .. )  :-(  It is all traditional . . very traditional, actually.  I kinda have the "Three strikes your out" kind of idea when it comes to trying out churches . . .strike 1) 90% of the church folks were in their . . 80's.  Seriously!!  2) That Fellowship time - you know what I'm talking about, where everyone walks around and shakes hands.  I know you shouldn't say you hate anything about church so I'll just say that I de-test it!!  I don't know who thought it was a good idea, but it is not.  Well, this one lasted for a good 5 minutes, for real.  Even my husband, who is ok with the concept, made a comment about how long this went on.  3) The message - I won't get into it but have you ever sat through a sermon and were actually thinking that you aren't good enough to go to that church? Yep.  Not good!  It's pretty sad when you feel like you wasted an hour of your day . . ..

Prior to that we had attended a church that was 9 minutes away.  It was a church we had looked at years ago but they were without a pastor at the time.  We would have never thought about it except my Ultrasound tech (who became a friend) attends there and invited us to come by for a visit.  I had no real strikes for this church (except for the lady in front of me with dread locks - I keep waiting for the little cartoon worm/bugs to poke their heads out at me - yes, I'm odd like that).  The message was fantastic - I didn't even day dream :-)  The music was pretty good - there was traditional and than a great worship section.  They are just introducing this concept - but it was still a great part of the service.  The people were friendly and there were a lot of young couples.  One thing that is different is that all of the kids (babies too!) stay in the church until the (ready . . wait for it . . ) the fellowship time (ha!)  Than, you take your kids to the nursery.  At first, I was taken aback but than realized, I had just finished reading "Parenting in the Pew" - what better way to start this than by keeping the kids in for like 10 minutes of the service??  I'm really not sure how my 18 month old will do - he is an energizer bunny - but if nothing else, I wouldn't have to sit through the fellowship time!!

So, right now, it will be mid-August before we end up back in a local church - between concerts, a family reunion, and some other special plans.  I'm thinking we may check out the first church again and than we'll decide what we want to do - keep driving the long distance, or maybe aim for something closer - something easier to be involved in and have our kids involved in . . .sometimes change is hard, but sometimes change is needed.  

Tot Time - The Week I really got down to work

This week, I really got my mind wrapped around what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it!  For me, it all starts with planning so here are a couple of snapshots of what I'm doing:

 The first thing I use is this simple planner.  This idea comes from my teaching days - the standard lesson planner.  Each row is for Monday-Friday and the columns are: Circle Time; Bible; 123/ABC's; Reading; Math; Other (Science, SS, ect).  I use this to go through the various sites I'm using to write down the quick reference of what I want to do each day in each "subject"  Basically, this is my brainstorming sheet. 

(I tried numerous times to get this load the right way but Blogger just say no!!"  From there, I write out each weeks "Specifics".  I go day by day and list everything from lyrics to the songs or poems to the items I need to make, print, or purchase.  The last page has the specific purchase items as well as where to purchase it from and the cost so I can plan my budget.   I have accomplished the first 4 weeks of planning on paper and it gets easier each time.  The nice thing is that the base curriculum I'm using has a review week ever 4 weeks so I can do anything on that 4th week that I did not get to during the previous 3 weeks!!   My next goal is to work the next 2 weeks (yep, 2!) and get everything I need made, printed, and purchased so I can than start working on weeks 5-8. 

I also wanted to share a few of the books that my 18 month old is really loving right now! 

The Dr. Suess book was a favorite of both of my boys but my 18 month old just adores it right now.  It has all kinds of textures to play with while reading.  Another favorite is the Book of Opposites - it is just a simple one word on each page but he loves hearing it and can now say many of the words.  We also have Baby's First Animals (shown) and Baby's First Words (non shown).  He loves going page by page and naming all of the pictures (or making the animal sounds)  I also forgot to get a picture of Seven Silly Monkeys - he adores that book!  Nine times out of 10, he will grab one (or all ) of these books for us to read!

Next week I'll post the specific sites I'm using for the various "subjects" and plans. 

That's all for this week!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I'm Loving . . . that our McMaster family reunion is just a week and a half away!  I'll see family that I haven't seen in 10 years (since the last reunion!) 

I'm Loving . . . that my mom found some great outdoor toys for the boys AND that my parents come over on Saturday to bring them to us.  The boys have so much fun playing in their new "houses". 

I'm Loving  . . . that my husband had a short day on Monday.  He had to work on Saturday so our weekend was very, very short . . .have him home Monday afternoon was a nice bonus.

I'm loving . . . .that Design Star has started - yes another one of THOSE shows that I enjoy.  I used to watch HGTV alot .  .not so much anymore but I still love this show!

I'm loving . .. listening to my boys laugh together.  They are learning to play together and that is wonderful!

What are you loving today? 

What I'm Reading

Welcome to another week of "What I'm Reading".  I'll start out with the books that I finished reading this week.

 The three books by Cindy Woodsmall is a Trilogy based on the life of Hannah Lapp.  She faces the "unspeakable" and through a series of terrible misjudgements of her and by her, she faces difficult choices.  I love how the author develops her character throughout each book yet keeps her grounded in her beliefs.  I truly enjoyed reading each one of these books and would recommend them to anyone.  They are based on the Amish culture (which I love reading about) but don't follow the typical style of many of those stories. 

This was a really quick, but good read.  It is the basic story of love lost, love found that shows how true love can outlast and heal so much.  The funny thing about this book is that I had recently been thinking about the story and could not remember the name of the book.  I just happened to grab this one to read and  . . .it was the exact book I had been thinking about!

Well, I still love Liz Curtis Higgs but . . .well . . I gave up on this book.  My disclaimer is that it is not a "bad" book but it was not a book I could just sit down and read.  The basic way it is set up is that within a chapter, Liz gives a verse that relates to the chapter topic, a short explanation, a snippet from a letter from a reader who struggles with the issue and a short "you can do it" thought . .. . over and over and over again.  It would be a book to use for counseling or just for encouragement - not so much for a "sit down and read me" book. 

Now for what I'm reading:

 I just started this book on Monday and I am hooked.  I really look forward to sharing the author's 120 day concept as I get further into the book.  I sense a challenge coming on - a personal challenge but I will also challenge you as well!!

This is my "fun" book - I'm just picking this one up and it is a re-read but I don't remember anything about it at this point. 

And of course, my two books that I'll be picking up this fall ;-) when I get back into my devotions full swing!:

I promise I'll get back to both of these - I was really enjoying them both a lot!!!