Summer Fun - July 4th

Last week brought it's own fun because, well, it was July 4th week!

Monday - We were at my mom's for the 4th and our day started at a great Parade in the neighboring town . We were fortunate enough to be invited to enjoy the parade at the house of a friend of my brother/sister-in-law which was awesome.  Darryl and I then left for home and the boys got to enjoy some sparklers with their cousins before the big Fireworks Show.

(So I have a few photos for this but . . .my camera battery died and I can't remember where I set the charger so I can't upload photos!  I know I put the charger in a place I could find it easily HA!) 

Tuesday-Friday - The kids were at my mom's all week.  I don't have photos from their week but here's a list of at least some of the things they got to enjoy:

-- Swimming in the neighbors pool with friends
--Playing at the McDonald's Playland
--Shopping with Nana at Walmart (because they always convince her to buy fun things HA!)
--Helping their cousin Seth do things around the Nana's house
--Playing with their cousins and Aunt
--Going to see "The Secret Life of Pets"


I'm sure I missed some things they did but I think you can see - they had fun. 

My Playlist

One of the very popular songs sung by Mercy Me is "I can only Imagine" which was written when the bands frontman lost his father after a battle from cancer.  Recently, though, I listened to an interview with Bart Millard (that "frontman") about a more recent song entitled "Finally Home" and that made the song more personal.  He shared the emotion behind the song in an article shared at New Release Today:

Please tell the story behind the song "Finally Home."
"Finally Home" was a last minute addition while we were writing for our last record. We still get so many comments about "I Can Only Imagine," written about my father after he passed away from cancer when I was 19. Lately, people have been asking if we are getting tired of the song. I am more invested in watching the reaction of people to the song than I am about myself anymore. The first few years of the song were for me, but ever since, the song has been for everyone else. Because of that, I wrote the lyrics "I’m gonna wrap my arms around my daddy’s neck and tell him that I’ve missed him," and I realized at that point, as I fell apart, that I haven't tapped into that emotion in a long time and didn't realize that I had so much emotion still pent up inside me. The guys and I were all crying as we wrote the song.
What's the main message and reaction you’ve received to the song?
It is very therapeutic for me. We call it the closure to "I Can Only Imagine." The song bookends the concept of singing about my relationship with my father. That's why the song was written. 

He talked more about how he can't wait to share with his dad all that he has done since his father passed away and how he can't wait to see him again.  That interview brought new meaning to the song to me and helped my understand why it was written.

Weekly Menu

Darryl and I had an enjoyable week as the kids were with my mom.  As is usually the case, we enjoyed some eating out.  We met in town on Tuesday and use a gift card for a nice dinner at Olive Garden; on Wednesday we met my father-in-law for dinner and he treated (a nice surprise!).  Thursday, we actually cooked at home and grilled some steaks.  We ended the week on Friday with dinner out again.  I've said it before and will say it again, if it was just the two of us, we would eat out 5 nights out of 7.  :-)  

Now, though, the holidays are over, the kids are back home and its time to actually cook again.  So, here's the plan for the coming week.  

Friday -One last night without the kids so we are eating out!

Saturday - Honey Glazed Chicken and Rice

Sunday - Meatball Stew, salad, and bread.  (I know this seems so winter but it can be made in the crock pot and will be ready after church!)  .

Monday - Pulled Pork BBQ and Spaghetti salad

Tuesday - Pancakes with blueberry syrup, Fried Eggs, bacon and Sausage

Wednesday - Darryl usually eats in town since he has practice.  Dinner is kid friendly and easy.  Shrimp Scampi for me (it comes out of a box HA!) and Spaghetti for the boys.

Thursday - Veggie Night - Fried Zucchini, Sweet Corn, Slow Cooker Green Beans, Cucumbers.  I will probably cook up a ham slice too just because we tend to like meat with dinner :-)

Looking through a glass

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine shared this on her facebook page:

"I remember after my sister died I felt like I was behind glass-- disconnectedly watching everyone live their lives while I could barely get out of bed. I would see posts about funny things, people on vacation, etc. and it was hard to reconcile that while my heart was breaking, people were having fun and simply living their lives. Today, I am reminded that many of YOU are reading the silly things I post and YOU are "behind the glass": I sincerely hope you know that you are seen, loved, and being prayed for."

See, my friend Jenny lost her sister one year before I lost my dad.  She has been an amazing encouragement to me throughout the past few months and what said above hits the nail on the head.

Over the past 2 months, grief has weighed heavy.  It is an unwelcomed path that I did not choose.  I think it is difficult for others to understand looking in from the outside.  See, it's not something that just goes away but, rather, it is a deep, deep wound that begins to heal just slightly before a memory; a song; even words from a well meaning person rips the wound back open and you realize that there is a gaping hole in your life that really, can never be filled.

 I believe that sometimes there are those who think there is a timeline to grief; that it is time to "move on" but for those who suffer the loss, there is no time line.  Sure, life moves on and you will see me and my family doing things like going to the beach, going camping, enjoying activities on the Fourth of July yet, just beyond the smiles are tears that come out of no where; or shadows of memories of what used to be and the thoughts of what you wish still was. 

There are days that I can make it through the entire day without feeling like my heart is aching or my eyes shed tears I didn't realize were there but then there are days where I can barely breath; where I sigh deeply or struggle to take a deep breath because the overwhelming loss sits heavy on my chest.  There is anger and the ongoing question of "why" whispered between the quiet statements of "Yes, God I trust in you".  I know what is good and what is right in God's eyes but it doesn't erase the ache of hurt.  Don't expect those hurting from loss to "just move on" as it doesn't work that way.  Some days, every single moment brings a memory.

Like my friend shared, there are days that I only get out of bed because I have responsibilities to take care of; there are days that I struggle to make it through the day because my strength is gone.  My dad meant the world to me; he was my biggest cheerleader and encourager. My husband and I always talked to him about everything whenever we got together with him and my boys, well, their Papa hung the moon and they loved sharing everything with him too.  Grief is a lonely road but I'm thankful that I loved so much that it hurts so much . . .

 

What we are Eating - M and M Bars

Chewy M and M Cookie Bars
adapted from Chew Out Loud

Recently, when planning food for a picnic,  I wanted to make a simple dessert.  Simple in the "making", "cooking" and packing.  Well, nothing is better to meet all of those items than a cookie bar and these M and M Bars did not disappoint.  Everyone, even my picky eater, loved them and they were gone within . . well a. .. a day!  

Ingredients

• 2¼ cups all purpose flour
• ½ tsp table salt
• ½ tsp baking soda
• 12 TB salted butter, melted
• 1 cup light brown sugar, packed
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• 1 large egg, room temp
• 1 large egg yolk, room temp
• 1 TB pure vanilla extract
• 1½ cups M&M's (holiday colors are great)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325F with rack on lower middle position. Line a 9x13 baking pan with foil, with enough overhang on either side to make a sling (for ease of removal after baking.) Grease foil and set aside.
2. In a bowl, whisk togehter the flour, salt, and baking soda.
3. In another bowl, stir together the melted butter and both sugars. Stir in the egg and extra egg yolk. Stir in vanilla extract.
4. Using a rubber spatula, fold together the dry mixture into the wet mixture, just until incorporated. Do no overmix. Fold in 1 cup of the M&M's. Reserve the rest for pressing on top.
5. Using slightly wet fingers, press dough into an even layer in the greased and foiled pan, making sure to get an even thickness throughout. Press remaining M&M's on top of dough.
6. Bake 25-28 minutes or just until it's puffy and golden brown. It may seem a bit underbaked, but go ahead and take it out. It will set nicely upon cooling.
7. Let cool completely at room temp before removing with the foil sling. Remove entire dessert with the foil sling and place on a cutting board. Cut into squares. Leftovers will keep for days at room temp in an airtight container.

 

Summer Fun - June 28

Monday and Tuesday - We had planned fun because we were camping!  It's our first camping trip of the season and it was so much fun.  The weather was near perfect and the kids found lots of friends to play with too.

Wednesday - Today was a "recovery day".  After a busy weekend, I needed a day to "recover" the house and get things put away.  I also needed to do an inventory of food items for meals the rest of the week, go to the laundermat, plan the grocery list for the coming weekend and just get my normal lists made for the week. I managed to fit in something "fun" while the clothes were washing at the laundermat.  I grabbed a coffee (thanks to that wonderful gift card I've been able to use the past few weeks!) and took the kids to a little park across from the coffee shop.  They got to play for about 40 minutes and I enjoyed my coffee and book.

Thursday -So, for fun today we went . .back to the park :-)  We had to run to the store for a few things and I realized I had just enough left on my gift card to get one more coffee so, of course, it made perfect sense to get a coffee and go back to the park.  The kids had just under an hour to play which was perfect.  I also like doing park days when the weather is nice - not much warmer than about 80 degrees and no humidity.  Once the heat of the summer comes, parks are too hot!  I also printed a bunch of random 4th of July themed coloring pages which they enjoyed coloring throughout the afternoon.

Friday - Today it was just the boys and I.  The morning started with garage sale excitement as our neighbors were having a yard sale.  The boys made many trips back and forth and found many treasures.  We also picked up some fireworks to set off at home, made monkey bread to snack on and enjoyed our towns huge fireworks show from our front porch.  It was a fun day!

I think all in all, this was another great week of summer.

Happy 4th of July

We are enjoying a wonderful holiday weekend with family, both Darryl's and Mine.  I hope that you are all enjoying the Holiday as well!!